


Humanism

by Renwick



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Coming of Age, Gen, Spirit Animals, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28335936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renwick/pseuds/Renwick
Summary: “Chaeyoung!” Someone screams.Tzuyu jolts awake. Suddenly, a bushy, caramel tail smacks her across her face, and she sputters, spitting out a wiry hair.Caught in the crossfire, Mina squawks indignantly. Immediately, she takes off, finding refuge on a disgruntled Jihyo’s shoulder and lands right next to Dahyun, who just gives Mina a knowing look. They’ve all been there.“Oh my god,” Sana gushes, still human hands quickly reaching over to squish a sleepy Chaeyoung’s face. Her squirrel tail sticks out of her pajama bottoms, pushing up the back of her sleep shirt as she leans over Chaeyoung. “She’s atiger.”
Relationships: Chou Tzuyu/Son Chaeyoung
Comments: 7
Kudos: 92





	Humanism

**Author's Note:**

> Sporadic is my middle name. I'm sorry.
> 
> If you're curious about the Reddit thread, please click on it **after** you're done reading unless you don't mind spoilers.  
> Based on [this r/writingprompts thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/bl75fb/wp_upon_turning_18_all_humans_must_spend_one_year/). 
> 
> Hoping everyone has a happy and healthy new year. Cheers. :)

Tzuyu wakes up on the couch to find a tiger sleeping on top of her.

In the dim morning light that creeps through the haphazardly closed blinds of the dorm living room, Tzuyu can make out the individual stripes that criss-cross about its face. She sees the texture of its rough tongue that lolls out of its gaping maw and feels the dampness of her t-shirt underneath it. With every sleep-measured breath, its sides rhythmically rise up and down, every cool inhale and warm exhale leaving her with goosebumps.

Careful to avoid brushing its whiskers, Tzuyu manages to wriggle an arm out from underneath the beast and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. She blearily scans the room, taking in the aftermath of last night.

Jeongyeon is splayed out across the carpet like a starfish, snoring quietly with a white cat stretched across her face and her legs tucked beneath the coffee table. The remains of Chaeyoung’s birthday cake, which had been carelessly, drunkenly cut into uneven slices, threaten to fall apart and crumble every time Jeongyeon shifts in her sleep. Across the room, Jihyo remains passed out in the loveseat, her body halfway between sitting and being slumped in a heap on the floor. At her feet, Momo lies curled up in what Tzuyu can only describe as uncomfortable. Sana and Dahyun are nowhere to be seen, probably asleep in a bed like responsible adults instead of being passed out in some random corner of the living room. 

The metallic pitter patter of claws snaps her out of her wandering thoughts, and Tzuyu turns towards the T.V. She sees her blurred reflection in the grey screen, disheveled and tired eyed. When she looks up, a crow, with dark, beady eyes, stares back at her from the top of the console. 

“Hi, Mina,” Tzuyu whispers.

The crow, Mina, flies almost silently to her, landing only to perch on her shoulder. Her feathers, inky and stygian like a barren night sky, blend into the shadowy corners of the room. Tzuyu runs a gentle finger through the velvet feathers on her head, and Mina makes a happy clicking sound.

“Good morning, Tzuyu,” Mina says, and to Tzuyu, it will never not be strange hearing her delicate voice through an open beak and not through pursed lips.

Upon turning eighteen, all humans must spend one year as their spirit animal to gain a better appreciation for the world and for what they have. Afterwards, they gain the ability to shift between forms.

Being the youngest, Tzuyu’s had the unique priviliege of seeing her bandmates transform throughout the years.

She had only known human Nayeon for two months before she turned into a ragdoll cat with pristine white fur that conveniently happened to cling to any and all fabric, much to Jeongyeon’s dismay. No one was surprised when Momo woke up as a golden retriever, tail wagging happily at the prospect of breakfast. She wasn’t thrilled however when she learned that she couldn’t eat any chocolate chip pancakes for the next year. Jeongyeon was quite literally a mother hen, Jihyo, a grizzly bear who gave the best hugs, and Sana, a squirrel who had a habit of burrowing hair ties and bobby pins in Momo’s silky fur.

Dahyun had turned into a snow-white meerkat eleven months ago. Quickly, she took to standing on any free shoulder. With a penchant for spotting cameras in the most unlikely of situations, she watched diligently for the occasional nosy Dispatch reporter whenever they went out for dinner. 

And now? Well...

Mina turns back towards the tiger, still fast-asleep, on Tzuyu’s chest.

“A tiger, huh?” Mina breathes. “What a noble creature.”

Mina doesn’t need to be in her human form for Tzuyu to see the admiration in her eyes.

“Yeah,” Tzuyu says, keeping her voice low. It’s a tone both she and Mina know well, the only tone that’s appropriate for the still hours of the morning. “Happy birthday, Chaeyoung.”

Tzuyu moves her arm to rest on Chaeyoung’s side, fingers threading through the bristly fur and tracing out patterns along her black stripes. Snuffling, Chaeyoung burrows her snout further into Tzuyu’s chest. Tzuyu can feel the prickle of her whiskers through the thin fabric of her shirt and the weight of Chaeyoung’s forepaws secured around her waist.

“You should go back to sleep, Tzuyu-ah,” Mina says, almost inaudible. “It’s still early.”

“I don’t think I have much of a choice,” Tzuyu laughs weakly, waving at the now sixty-something kilograms of Chaeyoung draped on top of her.

Mina clicks happily, and Tzuyu swears she can hear Mina’s dainty giggle somewhere in the back of her mind. It’s like a new language, something her brain has learned to translate on the fly, she supposes. With a few well timed hops, Mina settles into the crook of Tzuyu’s neck. Meticlously, she combs through the ruffled feathers on her breast back to immaculate form before pressing her beak to Tzuyu’s cheek.

“Sweet dreams,” Mina murmurs. “I’ll try to wake you up for breakfast.”

Tzuyu wonders about the mess of shot glasses and soju bottles on the floor, about the half-eaten cake left out on the table, and how Sana would inevitably play with the rough pads of Chaeyoung’s hefty paws. However, trapped between the faux leather couch and Chaeyoung’s body, she allows the warmth to lull her back to sleep.

“Thank you, Mina,” Tzuyu whispers.

Then, before she knows it, Tzuyu falls back asleep.

* * *

“Chaeyoung!” Someone screams.

Tzuyu jolts awake. Suddenly, a bushy, caramel tail smacks her across her face, and she sputters, spitting out a wiry hair.

Caught in the crossfire, Mina squawks indignantly. Immediately, she takes off, finding refuge on a disgruntled Jihyo’s shoulder and lands right next to Dahyun, who just gives Mina a knowing look. They’ve all been there.

“Oh my god,” Sana gushes, still human hands quickly reaching over to squish a sleepy Chaeyoung’s face. Her squirrel tail sticks out of her pajama bottoms, pushing up the back of her sleep shirt as she leans over Chaeyoung. “She’s a _tiger_.”

Chaeyoung groans, and Tzuyu can feel the deep rumbling of her chest.

“Woah,” Momo gasps, emerging from underneath a pile of clothes as a golden retriever, her tail wagging furiously. She quickly trots over to sniff at Chaeyoung’s side.

Tzuyu shifts, trying to find a position more comfortable when another tail, this time golden and silky, sweeps across her face.

Still on the floor in front of the coffee table, Jeongyeon sighs. “Can’t say we didn’t see that one coming.”

“Chaeng gets to be a big cat? No fair,” Nayeon harrumphs, curling into Jeongyeon’s arms, sticking her nose up, her tail in Jeongyeon’s face.

“Yeah, yeah, princess,” Jeongyeon replies appeasingly, rolling her eyes. With a free hand, she tucks Nayeon’s fluffy white tail back into the cradle of her arms. “Do you realize how much we have to spend on meat now?”

“Meat?” Momo barks, ears perking up.

“Too early for this,” Jihyo grumbles, rubbing at her temple. She takes one last look around the mess of a room before lumbering off into the kitchen with Dahyun and Mina in tow.

“Agreed,” Chaeyoung grunts, voice rough with sleep. “I wanna go back to bed.”

“Maybe,” Tzuyu starts, and she can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of her lips. “You can get off of me first.”

“Ah,” Chaeyoung chuckles, squeezing her eyes shut apologetically. “Sorry, Tzu.”

In an attempt to get off the couch, Chaeyoung stumbles onto the carpet more than she steps down onto it. With a soft thud, she ends up in a orange heap in front of Jeongyeon, tail flicking around angrily.

“Aww,” Momo coos, taking the opportunity to dogpile onto Chaeyoung’s side with Sana, nuzzling her face into the fur. “You’ll get used to it!”

Sana giggles dangerously. “Remember when Jeongyeon first tried to fly?”

“Not cool,” Jeongyeon snaps, clucking disapprovingly as she gets up. Picking up a few empty bottles in her free hand, she turns back towards Sana and Momo. “Come on, guys. Stop bothering her and do something useful for once.”

“Okay mom,” Momo whines before dragging Sana by the leg of her pajamas into the kitchen. “Let’s eat.”

Things are a lot quieter without seven other people, or animals, in the room.

Wincing, Tzuyu sits up for the first time in god knows how long. Her back aches, dull and throbbing, something that always happens when she falls asleep on the couch. It was probably made worse by Chaeyoung sprawled on top of her, but hey, it’s her birthday. It’s the one day Tzuyu can’t complain.

Chaeyoung huffs as she stretches, back arching as she digs her threateningly large claws into the carpet.

Chaeyoung is no cub. Perhaps tiger Chaeyoung isn’t as tall, isn’t as stout or broad as grizzly bear Jihyo, but she’s not small. She’s lithe, muscular, and could probably rival Tzuyu’s height if she stood on her hind legs. Mina and Dahyun were tiny. They could fit in the van or even in backpacks no problem, but it had been around two years since they had to adapt to a creature this large in the dorms.

“So,” Tzuyu starts. “How does it feel to be a tiger?”

A person’s spirit animal was the truest reflection of their character.

To Tzuyu, Chaeyoung was unstoppable. It was as if she was never intimidated as she rose to tackle each new day with gusto. How could someone barely two months her senior be so brave?

Maybe Jeongyeon was right. Was it really a surprise?

“It’s weird,” Chaeyoung mumbles with what Tzuyu can only approximate as a shrug. “Like, I smell things differently now?”

Tzuyu watches the morning sun glance off of Chaeyoung’s ivory white fangs as she lets out a monstrous yawn. “Yeah?”

“It’s just so strange,” Chaeyoung says, plodding over, albeit somewhat clumsily, to rest at Tzuyu’s feet. “Like I’m in a body too big for me.”

“I mean,” Tzuyu snickers, scratching Chaeyoung between the ears. “You are.”

Chaeyoung grins, all fangs and teeth and a little ferocious. “Shut up.”

But it was Chaeyoung. Tzuyu would trust her with her life.

“At least the managers will be happy this time,” Tzuyu jokes. “Remember when they learned that Jihyo was a grizzly bear? Can’t market that.”

“Do you think they’ll make us do the fashion models with tigers thing with us now?” Chaeyoung says, pressing her head more insistently into Tzuyu’s hand. “I always thought that was kind of tacky.”

“Probably,” Tzuyu admits, sinking back into the couch. “You know how much they milked Nayeon being a white ragdoll.”

“We live in a universe where TWICE endorses Purina,” Chaeyoung says, laughing. “What timeline is this?”

“We can’t feed you Purina, though,” Dahyun says from the doorway, still perched on Jihyo’s shoulder.

“You better not,” Chaeyoung snorts. 

Chaeyoung gets up on shaky legs, circling around Jihyo as she makes her way to the couch. Sighing, Jihyo sits down next to Tzuyu, nursing a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. 

“Happy birthday, Chaeyoung,” Jihyo says, running a finger through the white fur along her jaw.

Gracefully, Dahyun hops off of Jihyo, hugging Chaeyoung around the scruff as much as she can with her small arms. “Happy birthday, Chaeng.”

Tzuyu sees the warm, motherly smile across Jihyo’s face and the shimmering of Dahyun’s eyes. Being chosen by the tiger is something to celebrate, something Chaeyoung can be proud of.

She could never hate Chaeyoung, but Tzuyu would be lying if she said she wasn’t envious. Overnight, the world became something entirely different, something completely new. She wants to know what it’s like to experience a warm bed, smoky barbecue, or a calming hand threading through her hair for the first time again. It’s exciting, and Tzuyu knows she’ll get her chance. But through the eyes, the senses, of a tiger? That was a real privilege.

“Thanks,” Chaeyoung says, chuffing happily.

Dahyun then scampers onto Tzuyu’s lap. Her eyes are squeezed shut that familiar, brilliant smile that Dahyun could never escape from no matter what form she took.

“And it’s _your_ birthday next month,” Dahyun chirps, a small claw poking Tzuyu in the stomach. 

“Uh, yeah,” Tzuyu says, nodding. She’s not sure if she can top a tiger.

A tiger would make headlines for sure.

Big cats were relatively rare. Hwasa made the news a few years back for becoming a lion and Jaebum found his way into countless high profile modelling shoots as a jaguar. Most idols fell into the spectrum of more common animals. There were more than a few rabbits, and Momo was in a group chat with a bunch of golden retrievers. Beyond the occasional uncommon animal, the only time the news outlets were truly shaken was when G-Dragon _actually turned into a dragon_.

Tzuyu doesn’t think she’d be a good dragon.

Dragons were supposed to be dignified, noble, and wise. Last year, in a hand-written statement, she accidentally called JYP, her boss,[ a bitch](https://www.reddit.com/r/kpop/comments/5ayna0/twices_tzuyu_accidentally_calls_jyp_a_bitch/). She had wanted to crawl underneath her blankets and never see the outside world again after JYP spammed her phone with laughing emojis afterwards.

Tzuyu wasn’t even eighteen. There weren’t any years to back up her wisdom, and she doesn’t have the wisdom to back up her years.

“Maybe she’d be a wolf,” Dahyun says, scratching her chin with a small paw.

“I could see that.” Jihyo chuckles. “You are ruthless, Tzuyu-ah.”

Tzuyu tucks her chin into her chest. “Sorry, unnie.”

“That’s too edgy,” Chaeyoung argues, shaking her head. “Wolves are dangerous. Tzuyu’s harmless.”

Jihyo takes a diplomatic sip of her coffee. “Well, what do you suggest?”

“A horse,” Chaeyoung declares. She turns around and sits up straight, tail curled around herself.

“A horse?” Dahyun asks, head tilting to the side. “Is it because she’s tall? Elegant?”

Tzuyu blushes, but there’s a tug in her gut, something that eggs her on, something that keeps her listening.

“Yeah, but she’s also free-spirited, “ Chaeyoung insists, putting a heavy paw on Jihyo’s leg. “She doesn’t do anything unless she wants to do it. That’s why she keeps shooting Nayeon’s suggestions down.”

“That’s Nayeon-unnie to you,” Nayeon mutters, strutting over to the couch with her fluffy tail held high.

“What’s new, pussycat?” Chaeyoung snorts.

Batting at Chaeyoung’s tail, Nayeon meows irritably. “That joke was old four years ago.”

With a heavy paw, Chaeyoung easily knocks Nayeon over. She grins toothily when Nayeon hisses back.

Jeongyeon steps out of the kitchen looking wholly exhausted. Her shirt has somehow been decorated with a brand new coffee stain, and her tawny hair is so much like a bird’s nest, Tzuyu’s surprised Mina isn’t currently roosting in there.

“God,” Jeongyeon grumbles. “A catfight already?”

“That was awful,” Jihyo says tartly and scoots closer to Tzuyu when Jeongyeon collapses down on the couch next to her.

“You know you liked it,” Jeongyeon quips, rolling her eyes.

With Jihyo pressed against her side, Tzuyu watches Chaeyoung and Nayeon tumble around the living room. Small and nimble, Nayeon runs circles around a graceless Chaeyoung, letting her smash her snout into the coffee table as she dashes underneath.

The remains of the cake topple over, and Jeongyeon winces as the strawberry frosting leaves a rather artistic looking smear.

“I _just_ transformed,” Chaeyoung growls, rubbing at her nose with the back of her paw. “This is so unfair.”

Nayeon sticks her tongue out.

“They’re going to make a mess with the cake,” Jeongyeon mutters and she runs a hand over her face. “Do something, Jihyo. I’m too hungover for this.”

“Don’t worry,” Jihyo says, fishing her keys out of a bowl on the table. “This works with every cat.”

Jihyo turns towards Jeongyeon, points her wrist, and then -

A click. A red dot.

Oh.

An orange blur flies across Tzuyu’s vision, and Jeongyeon screams.

* * *

“I didn’t think I could hate airports even more,” Chaeyoung grumbles, tail drooping as she follows close to Tzuyu. “It’s so cold.”

Amidst the hustle and bustle, Chaeyoung weaves carefully between their impressive entourage of managers and bodyguards. It’s their first airport visit since Chaeyoung’s birthday, and Tzuyu knows their fans won’t give up this opportunity. The constant flashing from the fansite cameras and the calls of their names are difficult to block out, but Tzuyu tries her best to focus on Chaeyoung. 

Tzuyu runs a hand across the fur on Chaeyoung’s head, smiling as she presses up against her. “On your paws?”

“The tile is freezing,” Chaeyoung huffs, looking torn between ear scratches and moping. “Imagine if you had to walk everywhere barefoot.”

“Imagine if you had to wear boots everywhere,” Tzuyu says, giggling. 

“God no,” Chaeyoung groans and shakes her head.

It’s all a bit like a circus, maybe a bit like a touring zoo.

Though it’s mostly humans that travel, the unlucky few still stuck in their animal forms line up like everyone else. Seeing a Saint Bernard and shimmering blue macaw waiting for airport security a few meters over is quite the sight. Yet, Tzuyu feels a bit like _the_ spectacle amongst all the yelling and constant clicking of the shutters. 

The cacophony of screams and shouts is suffocating, and it makes her skin crawl no matter how many times she’s been through the same scenario. Tzuyu knows she should be used to it, that she should get used to it, but the pushing and shoving of surely expensive, heavy cameras into the unyielding arms of their bodyguards wrings her stomach into complex knots. It’s her job to toe the line between appeasing their fans and preserving her privacy, her dignity, but she can’t help thinking about it as she hands the security guard her passport and travel documents. 

“Nayeon-ah!” A voice calls, a little too close. 

Tzuyu whips around, seeing the lens of a hefty camera pierce the wall of staff to be right in front of Nayeon’s face. It’s a gut reaction, really, as she leaves the desk, pulling Nayeon back so she can stand between them.

“Move so I can get some footage,” the fan says tersely, and there’s the hard press of the camera shoulder that makes her take a step back. “Nayeon-ah!”

Tzuyu feels the brush of fur on her ankles before she sees Chaeyoung rear up on her hind legs. 

She stands tall - tall enough to stand shoulder to shoulder with Tzuyu. Claws bared and ears flattened against the back of her head, she pulls her lips back in a snarl. Her impressive fangs shine amongst the flashing lights as she bares her teeth at the camera, growling like rumbling thunder on the horizon. There’s shouting as the wall of black suits fill the breach, the manager coming quickly to Nayeon’s side, and Chaeyoung comes back down heavily on her paws with a quiet “oomph”. 

Their entourage ushers them quickly through security, and Tzuyu finds her brain running on autopilot as they run through the motions. Shoes off. Phones in the container. Wait. Now, walk through the metal detector. Phones out of the container.

And as Tzuyu sits down to slip back into her sneakers, Chaeyoung waits patiently next to her.

“You okay?” Chaeyoung asks, head tilted gently to the side. 

Tzuyu sighs as she ties her laces into a simple bow. “Dunno.”

“We can talk about it later, yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

* * *

Filming breaks are the best during the summer. 

The warm, sunbaked sand and the welcoming salt of the Okinawan coastline is a welcomed change from indoor sets of hidden plywood and cold warehouses. Palm trees, tall and winding, provide ample shade and are the perfect place to take a nap. Laying back on a multicolor beach chair, Tzuyu sighs happily with her hands behind her head. 

Dahyun is perched on top of one of the many tripods that litter their section of the beach, keeping a close eye on a doggy-paddling Momo in the water. Floats and boards are in abundance, though, so there’s not much reason to worry. Sana is hiding under the cover of an umbrella, nursing a cool drink and Mina? Well, she’s being cornered by the terrible trio of Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo who surely have something embarrassing planned with the wide, gummy grin plastered on Nayeon’s face. 

“Taking a catnap?” Chaeyoung asks, taking careful steps over to Tzuyu’s hiding spot. She lets out a content snort when she flops onto a nearby towel. 

“That’s the plan,” Tzuyu says, grinning as she watches Jeongyeon pull out a ridiculously long, slimy, and rather disgusting looking piece of seaweed in front of a rapidly paling Mina. “Did you need something?”

“Yeah,” Chaeyoung says, nosing a water bottle towards her sandaled feet. “Can you open this for me?” 

To the backdrop of Jihyo and Nayeon’s combined boisterous laughing and Mina’s shrill screams as she runs away from Jeongyeon, Tzuyu absentmindedly leans down and cracks open the cool water bottle. 

“Here,” she says, her arm outstretched towards Chaeyoung as her eyes focus on Jeongyeon tripping facefirst into the sand with a mangled yelp. 

“Uhh,” Chaeyoung mumbles. “Tzu?”

“Yeah?” Tzuyu turns back to Chaeyoung, her brows furrowed as Chaeyoung tilts her head to the side equally stumped.

“Did the heat get to your head?” Chaeyoung laughs, ears flicking back and forth. “I don’t have hands, remember?”

And then it hits her. 

Tzuyu blushes, quickly tilting the water bottle towards Chaeyoung. “Sorry.” 

“Being a human isn’t so bad,” Chaeyoung says, grinning toothily. She takes a moment to lap at the stream of water before nosing the bottle back up. “Maybe if I had opposable thumbs, it wouldn’t be as hard.”

“Imagine if other animals had opposable thumbs.” Tzuyu says, twisting the cap back on. She drops it down gently onto the cool sand next to her beach chair with a soft “whump”. “Do you think humans would still be on top?”

Chaeyoung chuffs happily, fur clumped as water drips down her chin. “You wouldn’t be able to babyproof the treats from a housepet.”

“Dunno,” Tzuyu says, shrugging. “I still get stuck on prescription bottle caps and I have thumbs.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re a baby,” Chaeyoung declares, chest puffed out. “I’m as tall as you now if I stand up, so you can’t even play the height card.”

Tzuyu shoves Chaeyoung’s shoulder with a smile. “Give it a few more months.”

Chaeyoung settles down next to her, head in the cradle of her paws as they both watch the foamy, cerulean waves lap at the shoreline. Somehow Jeongyeon has found herself buried under a mound of sand, while Mina and Dahyun make a sandcastle to the right of her head. Though filming has been tiring, Tzuyu doesn’t feel sleepy. Looking up towards the clear sky and the deep green of the palm leaves, she takes a moment to close her eyes. 

“Hey Chaeyoung?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you miss being human?”

There’s a pause before Chaeyoung responds. “A little, I guess.”

“How come?” Tzuyu asks. “A lot of people would kill to have their spirit animal be a tiger.”

“I don’t really fit in a lot of things.” Chaeyoung sighs into her forelegs, voice muffled. “I miss cuddling in bed without taking up the entire mattress and I’m always scared I’ll crush someone if I try and hug them.”

“Still getting used to the tiger body, then.” Tzuyu says quietly. She blinks her eyes open and leans to the side, watching Chaeyoung’s tail aimlessly push sand around. 

“Jihyo said it might take a while to get used to,” Chaeyoung mumbles, her ears flat against her head. “I’m still stuck with a human consciousness, but sometimes I just get the urge to, I dunno, really sink my teeth into something or pounce on someone who doesn’t notice me.” 

Tzuyu stays silent, and just lets her fingers run through Chaeyoung’s bristly fur until her ears relax.

“It’s just all new, and I guess it’s cool to be able to smell and notice things that I couldn’t before, but there’s so much I can’t do any more.” Chaeyoung pauses. “And I know I shouldn’t feel bad, but I don’t like having to ask for help.”

“Remember when we had to cut up veggies for Jeongyeon and open up the fridge for Momo?” Tzuyu asks, looking off towards the ocean. “Transforming is just something that happens, right? We’ll just take turns take caring of each other.”

Chaeyoung huffs. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Besides, you can return the favor when I transform and trip over everything during the first few days.”

“Was I Sana levels of clumsy?” Chaeyoung says increduously, laughing. “I didn’t think I was _that_ clumsy.”

“Yeah you were.” Tzuyu giggles. “I guess we’ll just see what happens on my birthday.”

* * *

The display on her phone switches to 2:00 a.m when Tzuyu lets out a long sigh. The past few days have been more flights, more airports, more photoshoots, and, of course, more long nights. 

Even from beyond the studio, she can hear the clicking of the shutters and feel the hot brightness of the spotlights. Her head throbs to the beat of the blinking red light of the cameras as she retreats into the changing room. Paper bags and leftover plastic containers are scattered haphazardly about the fold-out table and the room is dead quiet save for Jeongyeon’s light snoring. 

Jeongyeon is curled up on the drab and scratchy brown couch, still in the form-fitting black dress from her shoot earlier. She must’ve been too tired to change and too tired to care. Sitting down heavily into a folding chair, Tzuyu understands. Given another hour or two, she could fall asleep on her feet in her equally uncomfortable sequin covered top without a complaint. 

With her cheek squished against the table, Tzuyu absentmindedly taps at her phone, swiping through her messages while relying more on muscle memory than conscious thought. 

The door opens quietly, and Tzuyu watches Jihyo slip into the room. In a few steps, she slumps down in a chair next to Tzuyu and closes her eyes. 

“You okay, unnie?” Tzuyu whispers. 

Tzuyu’s not sure when she woke up today, but she knows that Jihyo always wakes up earlier. 

“Tired,” Jihyo mumbles, voice dry and weary. 

Both their faces are caked in makeup, but Tzuyu can still make out the bags under Jihyo’s eyes. Long hours and late night shoots ending in smudged lipstick, sore shoulders, and deep rooted exhaustion are common occurences, and Tzuyu knows what she signed up for when she came to Korea. The time they spend off camera, the build up behind the red carpet events and all the award shows is so, so far away from the glitz and glamour. 

Tzuyu scoots closer to Jihyo, gently bringing her head to rest on her shoulder. “Leaning back isn’t that comfy.”

“Mhm,” Jihyo hums. “You’re comfier.”

“I’ll wake you up when they’re done shooting.”

“Thanks,” Jihyo says, voice barely more than a breath.

Sometimes she wishes she were back home, tucked underneath the covers with Gucci in her lap. But, if Tzuyu was going to be honest, she wouldn’t trade this life for the world. 

When Jihyo’s breathing evens out, Tzuyu presses a gentle kiss to her forehead.

Jihyo smiles in her sleep, and Tzuyu holds her a little closer. 

* * *

“And to Tzuyu,” the host says, and Tzuyu snaps out of her thoughts. Questions aren’t usually directed towards her. “It’s your birthday tomorrow!”

“Uh,” Tzuyu stutters. “What?”

Tzuyu mentally slaps herself for spacing out.

“Did you forget your birthday?” The host laughs and draws the rest of the table into a chorus of giggles. “TWICE must be very busy.”

“It’s been a long day,” Jihyo says, her hand warm against the small of Tzuyu’s back. 

Catching her gaze, Jihyo gives Tzuyu a knowing smile, and Tzuyu lets out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding.

“So.” The host leans into the mic. “Do you have any guesses on what your spirit animal is going to be?”

“I have no idea,” Tzuyu blurts, shaking her head.

“We’ve been placing bets over the past few days,” Jeongyeon says, chuckling. “I put ten-thousand won on the rabbit being her spirit animal.” 

“No way is she a rabbit,” Nayeon declares, punching Jeongyeon in the shoulder. “She’s totally a wolf.” 

“It’d be so cool to have two canines in the dorm,” Momo says, grinning. “It’s not fair that Chaeyoung and Nayeon can do cat things together.”

“We don’t do cat things together,” Chaeyoung mutters, huffing.

“Don’t lie, Chaeyoung,” Sana giggles. “We know you guys take naps together on the balcony on weekends.”

“Anyway,” Chaeyoung says quickly, leaning away from Sana. “I think Tzuyu would be a horse.”

“But Tzuyu’s always looking out for us, even if she’s quiet about it,” Dahyun says, humming thoughtfully. “I think she’d be a good wolf.”

Tzuyu feels her face warm and hopes that the makeup hides some of her blush.

“That’s a good point,” the host says diplomatically. “But Chaeyoung, why do you think she would be a horse?”

“She’s free-spirited, brave, and indepedent,” Chaeyoung says tersely, her paws on the table. 

“I agree,” Mina murmurs. “She’s elegant and carries herself with a kind of grace that’s hard to come by.” 

“High praise!” The host crows, smiling widely. “Oh, is Tzuyu blushing?”

The laughter echoes throughout the sound-dampened studio as Tzuyu ducks her head into her chest. 

“Aww, Tzuyu!” Jihyo teases, pulling Tzuyu into a hug, and Tzuyu lets Jihyo rest her head against her shoulder. 

“Considering Chaeyoung made some headlines as a tiger,” the host starts. “If you could choose your spirit animal, what would it be?”

It would be one thing to make the headlines as something rare, a folklore creature perhaps. Tzuyu frowns. A person’s spirit animal was the truest reflection of their character. It wasn’t right want to be chosen by something mythical just for the sake of it.

“I can’t think of anything that would fit me,” Tzuyu admits, shaking her head. “But I think I would be happy as a wolf or a horse.”

“A horse is a large animal. It must be difficult to adapt to something like that,” the host rattles on. “So… how was it being a grizzy bear for a year, Jihyo? Weren’t the dorms crowded?”

The rest of the show and car ride home are a blur. 

As the sounds of traffic and sleepy chatter meld into a wall of white noise, Tzuyu only comes to every time the van screeches roughly to a stop. She’s not sure whether she dozed off or just spaced out, but Tzuyu figures it’s one of those days. Tzuyu allows her thoughts to fray at the edges, a thrumming tiredness simmering underneath her skin. She leans back against the firm, black seats of the van as she absentmindedly twirls Chaeyoung’s tail around her hand. She feels the unease tug at her gut, the nervous anticipation settle at the bottom of her stomach like a rock. 

It won’t be that bad, she tells herself. 

* * *

“Tzuyu-ah,” Jihyo calls out, and Tzuyu stops in the foyer, halfway through taking her shoes off.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to do anything tonight?” Jihyo asks as she locks the door behind them. “I know it’s kind of late, but we’ll stay up to celebrate if you want to.”

“Mmm, not really,” Tzuyu mumbles, shrugging. “I'm pretty tired, sorry.”

Jihyo pulls her into a bear hug, keeping her in a steady but comforting grip. “Don’t apologize. It's your birthday tomorrow. We’ll do something later when you’re up for it.”

“Thanks, unnie,” Tzuyu says quietly, taking a moment to close her eyes before pulling back.

“Go sleep, Tzuyu,” Jihyo says, giggling. “I’ll make sure everyone else is quiet. You get birthday privileges.”

Tzuyu grins before heading towards her room. “Awesome.”

She shrugs off her jacket, letting it fall into a heap it near the foot of her bed. Carelessly, she tosses her phone onto the sheets, letting it fall with a muffled thump before turning back into the hallway. Making a right near the bathroom, Tzuyu slips out onto the balcony, shivering as she steps into the cold night air. The clouds are few and far between, the moon shining brightly high up in the sky. Leaning onto the metal railing, she scans the glittering skyline of Seoul and watches the lights glance off of the Han River.

It’s the city that never sleeps, and Tzuyu finds it comforting to know that are others like her still out there wandering about the night. There are times where she finds herself exhausted, but not drowsy, wholly miserable and unable to fall asleep no matter how many lullabies Jihyo sings softly into the darkness. It’s gotten better over the years. Her body has adapted, or perhaps more accurately, has given up to the chaotic nature of idol schedules, but the balcony will always be a welcomed respite from the usual cacophony of the dorm.

She hears a breathy snort, the sound muted by the sliding door. With a paw pressed against the glass, Chaeyoung watches her with expectant eyes that glow in the darkness of the hallway.

Turning around, Tzuyu pulls open the door and lets Chaeyoung slips through.

“Hey you,” Chaeyoung says, glancing at the skyline through the railing.

“Hi,” Tzuyu says, and sighing heavily, she sits down on the concrete floor to lean back against the door. On camera, Tzuyu’s careful to put up a front. She’s thankful for the makeup that masks the bags under her eyes, but now, it’s only Chaeyoung and the night. 

“What’s eating at you, Tzu?” Chaeyoung says, padding over, her tail lazily tracing out shapes in the air. She curls up next to Tzuyu’s side, bristly fur comfortably warm against her skin.

Tzuyu fiddles with the sleeve of her shirt. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“If you say don't worry about it, I'm gonna worry about it,” Chaeyoung insists, rolling her eyes. “You know you can tell me anything."

“Today,” Tzuyu mumbles. “Did you really mean it?”

“Huh?” Chaeyoung asks, looking up at her.

“During the radio show when we were talking about our spirit animals, you said I was,” Tzuyu trails off, leaning back to stare at the sky.

Chaeyoung tilts her head quizzically. “I said you were?”

“Brave.”

Sighing, Chaeyoung puts a heavy paw on her thigh. “Tzuyu, look at me.”

It’s Chaeyoung, so Tzuyu can’t say no. She feels a little lost in Chaeyoung’s amber eyes when she meets her gaze.

“Tzu,” Chaeyoung starts. “You are brave.”

“I don’t think I’m brave,” Tzuyu admits, shaking her head.

“I could never move to a new country, learn a new language, and live on my own to risk it all as an idol when I was thirteen,” Chaeyoung says, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t think I could even do it now.”

“Chae-”

“You’re humble when variety shows make fun of your Korean, you're always up with Jihyo in the morning when the rest of us don’t want to get out of bed, and everyone is head over heels for you,” Chaeyoung says, pressing the side of her head against Tzuyu’s chest, the fur on her ears tickling Tzuyu’s chin. “You’ve accomplished all of this and more, Tzu. You’re the bravest person I know.”

“But you’re brave. You wear your feelings like it’s a suit of armor, you’re confident, you're a _tiger_ ,” Tzuyu whispers as her voice betrays her, like her heart jumped up, her throat tight with it. “I’m not a tiger. I can’t be a tiger.”

“Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung says, eyes widening. Her ears pressed against her head and Tzuyu squeezes her eyes shut. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

“What if I wake up as a hamster or something?” 

“It’s okay to be nervous about tomorrow.” Chaeyoung says quietly. “There’s nothing wrong about _feeling_.”

“After your birthday, I feel like everyone is expecting a lot from me.” Tzuyu mumbles. Then she winces, hiding her face in her hands. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung breathes out. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s not like you got to choose what you would become.” Tzuyu says as she shakes her head softly, rubbing at her eyes. “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, Tzu,” Chaeyoung says resolutely. She pauses to take a breath before tucking her head into the crook of Tzuyu's neck. “You could be a mouse or a dragon. We’ll still love you no matter what your spirit animal is.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Chaeyoung vows. “Pinky promise?”

“Chaeng,” Tzuyu says, wiping away a stray tear as she laughs wetly. “You don’t have a pinky.”

Chaeyoung pulls back and groans, an embarrassed paw over her face. “Fuck. You know what I mean.”

“Okay,” Tzuyu says, taking Chaeyoung’s paw between her hands. “Pinky promise.”

They fall back into a comfortable silence, surrounded by the cool night. Tzuyu can hear Jeongyeon’s sputtering laughter and Sana’s high pitched giggling from beyond the door, and she sees Chaeyoung’s ears twitching when Jihyo reprimands them for being too loud. She takes a moment to exhale heavily, sinking into the ambiance of energetic chatter and the thrumming of engines and electric scooters moving on the street below.

Chaeyoung is warm. She stays pressed against her side as Tzuyu traces mindless patterns in her fur with her index finger. Although it isn’t too chilly, Tzuyu finds herself leaning onto Chaeyoung with every stray summer breeze that passes over them.

“Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight?” Chaeyoung murmurs quietly.

“My bed?” Tzuyu asks. “Is it big enough for the both of us?”

“No way,” Chaeyoung snorts. “But I want to anyway.”

Tzuyu shrugs and smiles. “Sure. Let’s go to bed then.”

That night, Tzuyu dreams of the sounds of springtime, of open grassy fields, and a tiger sitting elegantly in the middle of a bed of white flowers waiting expectantly for her. 

* * *

  
  


Yawning, Tzuyu runs a hand through her sleep-mussed hair. She flips her phone over to glance at the time, groaning when the screen confirms that she has to get up.

Mentally, Tzuyu counts down from three before swinging her legs out off the side of the bed, the floor cold against her bare feet.

“Tzu?” Chaeyoung rasps, stretching out on the sheets next to her.

“Hi,” Tzuyu says, scratching Chaeyoung between the ears. It’s become a habit now more than anything, but Chaeyoung never stops her because Tzuyu knows she likes it too. “Good morning.”

Suddenly, Chaeyoung stills. She pulls back, head slipping from underneath Tzuyu’s hand, to sit upright on the bed.

Meeting Chaeyoung’s piercing golden stare, Tzuyu furrows her brows. “What?”

“Y-you’re,” Chaeyoung stutters, pausing to blink rapidly before staring at Tzuyu again, mouth agape. “You’re still… human.”

Tzuyu’s brain shuts down as she stares back. She doesn’t notice the others filtering into their shared bedroom with wide eyes, doesn’t see Sana and Jihyo exchanging hushed whispers in the doorway. The only thing she hears is the rushing of blood and the static stuttering of her thought processes. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not transforming was completely unheard of. It was just a fact of life that, upon turning eighteen, all humans must spend one year as their spirit animal to gain a better appreciation for the world and for what they have. Was there nothing new for her to appreciate? Did she not deserve a spirit animal? 

“S-so,” Dahyun says, clearing her throat. She scrabbles up Tzuyu’s sleep shirt with her small paws to perch on her shoulder. “I think it’s safe to say no one expected this.”

“I’m pretty sure today’s my birthday,” Tzuyu chokes out, looking down at her still very human hands with those damned opposable thumbs. 

Mina slides next to her on the bed, sitting down softly on the wrinkled sheets. She puts a gentle hand on Tzuyu’s leg. “Are you disappointed? Confused? Scared?”

“All of the above?” Jeongyeon adds, leaning back against the doorframe with her arms crossed.

Tzuyu nods slowly. “All of the above.” 

“Remember what I said last night, Tzu?” Chaeyoung says, semi-coarse fur pressing against her back, chin resting on her other shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with feeling.”

“But why do I not have a spirit animal?” Tzuyu cries out, hands balled into fists. When Mina holds her hand tighter, she lets out a sigh. “I just don’t understand.”

The bedroom door is suddenly kicked open all the way, the doorknob hitting the wall as Nayeon struts in Sana and Jihyo in tow. 

“Well, it just means that you’re a really good human,” Nayeon declares, a wide grin on her face and her hands on her hips. 

“Yeah!” Momo agrees happily, bouncing onto the bed to pull Tzuyu into a hug. “In fact, because this hasn’t happened before, you’re now officially the best human in the world, Tzuyu.”

“Humans are empathetic and kind,” Jihyo says, smiling warmly as she carries a cake in her hands. “You’re always looking out for us, even if you’re tired too.”

“And it’s really hard for you to lie, right?” Sana quips, walking up with a plastic knife, disposable plates, and a handful of spoons. “You’re honest and wholehearted with us.”

Jeongyeon pokes at the chocolate icing on the cake before swiping a finger across Tzuyu’s cheek. “You’re humble when you get praised and when we make fun of you.”

“Guys,” Tzuyu mumbles, absentmindedly accepting a spoon and a plate from Sana. 

“You’re adaptable,” Mina giggles, leaving a dollop of icing on Tzuyu’s nose. “A quick learner and curious about the world.”

“A good listener too,” Dahyun chirps. “The very best I’ve ever met.”

“And when faced with the unknown,” Chaeyoung says, eyes closed and head pressed against Tzuyu’s. “You’re the bravest person I know.”

“So when someone asks why you don’t have a spirit animal, it’s because you exemplify everything that makes us human,” Jihyo says proudly, a warm smile on her face as she holds the cake towards Tzuyu. It’s adorned with strawberries and with eighteen candles brightly lit, though placed slightly askew and imperfect in a way that really couldn’t be any better. 

“Happy birthday, Tzuyu-ah.”

“Happy birthday!” The room choruses. 

“Thanks,” Tzuyu says wetly, yelping when Sana pokes her cheek with an icing covered finger. 

“We can be sentimental and group hug later,” Sana laughs. “Cake first? I don’t want things to get too messy.” 

“Then you shouldn’t let Jeongyeon cut the cake,” Nayeon snickers as Jeongyeon squawks back in retaliation. “You saw what happened to Chaeyoung’s.”

“I can’t believe you can still eat everything you could before! Lucky!” Momo whines petulantly as she makes grabby hands at the chocolate cake. Although she isn’t transformed right now, Tzuyu can imagine her tail and ears drooping. 

“Okay, okay, okay. Cake time before this falls all over Tzuyu’s sheets,” Jihyo says diplomatically. “Cake for Chaeyoung if she wants and be sure to save a small piece for Dahyun.”

Between giggle fits and icing getting everywhere, a chunk of chocolate cake still manages to fall right onto Tzuyu’s pajamas because someone decided Sana was better at cutting cake than Jeongyeon. Tzuyu ends up with strawberries threatening to overflow and fall off her plate and another smear of icing on her forehead. It goes about as well as any of their celebrations, messy, happy, loud, and uncomfortably warm in a good way. 

But amongst the cheerful chaos, Tzuyu smiles. Maybe staying a human isn’t so bad after all. 

  
  
  



End file.
